Q is For...

Questionable Moments

I've had many questionable moments in my life. The ones where you know your life is about to change. The only problem is you don't know which way. I'm forever an optimist so even in my worst questionable moments I've found some silver linings.

One of the first questionable moments came when I was 9-ish. I had seen an advertisement for some new bath gels and begged my parents to buy me some. Of course they declined my request and crushed my 9 year old heart. But you can't keep an optimist down. I looked under our bathroom sink and found an assortment of stuff to mix together. Gathering my supplies I scrabbled into my bath and began mixing. Some bubbling toilet cleaner for the bubbles. Some foot powder for the softness. Some fingernail polish for color and some finger nail polish remover in case it stuck to the tub. A few other ingredients went into my personal bath mixture but I can't remember their names only they've since been removed from shelves. Exactly 17 seconds after the final ingredient went in I had developed a mixture that was quite sticky. In fact NASA uses it today to plug holes in the spaceship.

It took the fire department and paramedics 4 hours to free my backside and legs from the tub. But that's ok because this questionable moment taught me the inner workings of the rescue community.

When I was 13-ish my best friend convinced me that if I put duck tape on my water bed mattress that I could poke stick pins in it and the water wouldn't leak out. Well she was right. Every place that duck tape IS ON would not leak. My 13 year old brain didn't think of the HOLE. A hole by definition is the absence of something. When you place a stick pin or 23 into the water bed bladder you create a hole or an absence. An absence of the duck tape, an absence of the water bed mattress which in turn creates an absence of water.

It took my parents 2 hours to shop vac all the water out of my floor. But that's ok because I learned a valuable physics lesson. The faster you run around your mom plus the gravitational pull of the moon divided by the arc of her swing WILL NOT lesson the impact of the leather belt on your bottom.

I've even had some questionable moments in my adult life. When the Prince of Nigeria emailed me asking for financial help I knew I couldn't turn him away. I mean come on, how many people could help a royal prince. Plus I knew it had to be real because all my friends and family got the same email so he must know me. Besides when I gave him my bank account number I asked him nicely to only take what he needed. I guess he was in more trouble than I though when my bank called to say my account had been emptied.

Months later I still haven't had a thank you from the Prince but that's ok because I know he has his freedom and is healthy.

Becoming a writer was a questionable moment also. However I know that no matter how it turns out I have made some awesome (real) friends and learned many valuable lessons(real ones). So I hope becoming a writer is a questionable moment for you but one that you choose to do whole heartily.

Happy Writing


  1. Hilarious. I was NOT ready for that to end.

  2. Haha, I bet your parents wished they had bought you the *real* bath salts! great stories but I don't believe that last one :)

  3. mybabyjohn,
    Thanks. I'm working on leaving the reader wanting more.

    There are a lot of things my parents wished they had done with me. LOL

    The one about the Prince of Nigeria is true BUT not with me. One of my co-workers believed it and we had to convince him it was a scam. He didn't believe us and would up with a whole mess of things.

  4. That 9ish story is hilarious!! Just what I needed this morning. Thanks!!

  5. I literally gasped when I read about your bath gel incident! I have to remember stories like these, as a parent. :)

  6. This was hilarious. I loved it that all of these incidents were "okay" because of the valuable insights you gleaned.

    I wasn't approached by the Crown Prince of Nigeria, but he certainly has a busy relative who tracked me down and pled her case.... ironically, she used my name to plead her case to all my friends, but I know she only had my best interests at heart....

  7. Wait...you didn't get a thank you from the Prince either?

  8. I read this at a very good time. I'm in the middle of my own questionable moment. Heh...

    You are a great storyteller!!

    I loved this.

  9. Did you really stick to the bathtub????

  10. Hilarious stories of misadventure of the naive yet determined sort. Glad to hear You were not fooled by the Nigerian Prince!!!

  11. salarsen,
    Thanks, glad I could help.

    My kids are ten times worse than I was but my mom says no way they aren't.

    Of course she did. LOL

    You either? Shame on him.

    Oh I hope your questionable moment leads to greatness!!

    Yeppers I did. But it was only a little sticky. No rescue required. Except from my parents.


  12. OH! I'm in stitches.

    The art of writing Thank You notes is highly underrated. The Prince really should have someone write them for him if he's too busy to write them himself.

  13. Dear,

    I am so glad for the Hilarious sharing~

    karen millen


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