tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19948178995788304312024-02-28T23:25:32.618-08:00First Draft on Life, Literature and LunacyOne aspiring writer loving life, literature and her lunatic ride through it all.L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-2518476842505900962011-05-26T15:11:00.000-07:002011-05-26T15:17:30.686-07:00I'm Back ...Sort Of..I did not fall off the edge of oblivion. All though it would be a really great start to a chapter. Falling into space.. Any who, I found myself around the letter S in the A-Z blogging challenge (it was awesome) and it was starting to freak me out. I was not where I wanted to be in my revision and I began to resent blogging. So I stopped. I'm now getting into a groove with revision and think I can handle some posts here and there. More importantly I need to get back to reading up on your posts. I hope to be hopping around to all of you soon. I've missed you and am happy (although tentatively) glad to be back. See ya soon.L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-52131128583523289302011-04-21T13:40:00.000-07:002011-04-22T04:16:08.695-07:00S is For....Spunk On A Stick<div align="center"><strong><font size="5">Spunk On A Stick<br /></font></strong><br /></div><br /><br /><div>L. Diane Wolfe over at Spunk On A Stick won an interview on my blog back during my 200 follower giveaway. Due to time and other stuff life throws at us we both thought posting her interview during the A-Z challenge would be perfect. Ms. Wolfe is a motivational speaker and author and I thoroughly enjoy both her <a href="http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/">blog</a> and her <a href="http://thecircleoffriendsseries.blogspot.com/">website</a>. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>Known as “Spunk On A Stick,” Wolfe is a member of the National Speakers Association. “Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK! The Keys to Leadership & Goal-Setting”, ties all of her goal-setting and leadership seminar’s information together into one complete, enthusiastic package. Her YA series, The Circle of Friends, features morally grounded, positive stories that appeal to both teens and concerned parents. Ten years associating with a motivation training system and experience as a foster parent gave her the in-depth knowledge of relationships, personality traits and success principles. Wolfe travels extensively for media interviews and speaking engagements, maintains a dozen websites & blogs, manages an online writer’s group, and contributes to several other sites and newsletters. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>Check her full <a href="http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/p/bio.html">BIO</a> for yourself. Please take the time to go visit. Here is her wonderful answers to my questions.</div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 180px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 181px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598142809259190946" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJQvXulwN5q8vc_jhwGiy-ltuQ-6kLCiRIPsJFstPIVJnkacqANWJisoHCHC607ucZwIRDlfEkI5VVVQMhxowRAYAeFDiYydu0Qk2sLeM1ud79S-BMhnOnXI8WJySYu4Q9LWtJgQF7d-6/s320/L_+Diane+Wolfe+-+ss.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>How does your role as a motivational speaker influence your novel writing?</div><br /><br /><div><br /><font color="#330099"><em>I write for the same reason I speak - to inspire others to achieve their dreams</em></font>.<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>I pour a lot of uplifting inspiration into my writing, including my YA series, The Circle of Friends. More than a positive attitude found its way into those books, too. When I finished the fifth in the series, I realized each book represented one of the Five Keys to success that I teach in <font color="#330099">my seminars. That was unintentional, but it reflects how strongly I feel about those five</font></em></font><font color="#330099"> <em>aspects.</em></font><font color="#330099"><em><br /><br />Of course, my speaking spurred the creation of my non-fiction book, Overcoming Obstacles with SPUNK! With seven other authors contributing, it was a lot of fun to write.</em> </font><br /></div><br /><br /><div><br />Do you ever succumb to obstacles in your own writing life?<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>Yes! I recently went through a long writing lull. After completing my last book, I had every intention of writing a teen version of Overcoming Obstacles, but it just didn’t happen. Lost the urge to write for a while. I have a new project now and I’m happy to be writing again!<br /></em></font><br /><br />Do you feel pressure to finish a novel or overcome life's hiccups knowing you’re an accomplished self help author?<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>Oh, you bet! My life should be perfect, right? I struggle like everyone else. However, I feel I’m better equipped to handle the challenges. </em></font><br /><br /><br />What is your favorite role between professional speaker and novel author?<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>Speaker! I like the interaction and contact with others. Writing is lonely. Authors tend to be introverted, so it suits them, but I love getting out and meeting people. I feel I can a greater impact on people as a speaker than as a writer</em></font>.<br /><br /><br />Do you have any advice for someone to sell themselves to an agent/publisher?<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>Glad you added publisher - so many writers limit their chances for success by pursuing only agents. </em></font><br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>Be multi-facetted and develop a platform. Show that you’re more than just an inexperienced writer. Develop and highlight your skills, credentials, networks, accomplishments, and ability to promote.</em></font><br /><br /><br />Best piece of advice YOU have gotten?<br /><br /><em><font color="#330099">LOL - besides ‘don’t quit?’<br /><br />Be willing to do whatever it takes.</font></em><br /><br /><br />Best piece of advice you can GIVE?<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>Study the industry! No matter what publishing path you take, you have to understand the industry if you’re going to succeed. Do your research - read books on the subject, scour the Internet, talk to other writers and authors, get out to book festivals - know what you’re doing before you begin! </em></font><br /><br /><br />Please tell us about any upcoming novels/self help books you have coming out.<br /><br /><font color="#330099"><em>I just began working on a new book. I teach seminars on publishing and promoting, and I also offer private consultation. I’m always asked - do I have a book on the topic? So, it’s about time I did! </em></font></div><br /><br /><p><font color="#330099"><em></em></font></p><br /><br /><p><font color="#330099"><font color="#000000"><strong>Thanks so much Diane!! Please drop by her blog and websites for more information and tips!! She is also working the A-Z challenge like crazy!!!!!</strong></font></p><br /><br /><div><br /></font><br /><br /><br /></div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-60185375032838335632011-04-21T05:59:00.000-07:002011-04-21T06:10:22.869-07:00R is For...<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>Rejection</strong></span></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"></span></strong></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br />I know a lot of you have already posted about rejection but I wanted to add my 2 cents worth. Although with the dollar falling it may be more like 1.7220 cents worth.<br /><br />I must give a disclaimer that I have never had a rejection... YET. However I WANT one badly. A lot of writers feel very personal about rejections. They call them "heart-ripping-soul-sucking" letters of hate. <br /><br />Do you really? I can understand if the agent/publisher is not professional and rips into you personally but I hope most will be interpreting my writing skills.<br /><br />My thoughy on rejection is this:<br /><br /><strong>I CAN"T WAIT!! </strong><br /><br />If someone is sending me a rejection letter then I have finished my book. If someone is sending me a rejection letter then someone other than family and friends is actually reading my work. I can learn from someone NOT required to think about my feelings. A rejection letter will happen. I've heard of writers receiving hundreds of rejection letters but still crank out book after book. <br /><br />It's just part of a writer's life. Wear them as badges of battle. For me a rejection letter solidifies my status as writer.<br /><br />At least that's how I'll feel until I get my first one. Then I may be a crying heap of self loathing covered in shame.<br /><br /><em><strong>How do you feel about rejection? Have you received many rejection letters?</strong></em><br /><br />Also please check back tomorrow for a really awesome interview with L. Diane Wolfe at Spunk on a Stick.L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-69934768917522662352011-04-20T04:19:00.000-07:002011-04-20T04:50:51.218-07:00Q is For...<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>Questionable Moments</strong></span></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"></span></strong></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br />I've had many questionable moments in my life. The ones where you know your life is about to change. The only problem is you don't know which way. I'm forever an optimist so even in my worst questionable moments I've found some silver linings.<br /><br />One of the first questionable moments came when I was 9-ish. I had seen an advertisement for some new bath gels and begged my parents to buy me some. Of course they declined my request and crushed my 9 year old heart. But you can't keep an optimist down. I looked under our bathroom sink and found an assortment of stuff to mix together. Gathering my supplies I scrabbled into my bath and began mixing. Some bubbling toilet cleaner for the bubbles. Some foot powder for the softness. Some fingernail polish for color and some finger nail polish remover in case it stuck to the tub. A few other ingredients went into my personal bath mixture but I can't remember their names only they've since been removed from shelves. Exactly 17 seconds after the final ingredient went in I had developed a mixture that was quite sticky. In fact NASA uses it today to plug holes in the spaceship.<br /><br />It took the fire department and paramedics 4 hours to free my backside and legs from the tub. But that's ok because this questionable moment taught me the inner workings of the rescue community. <br /><br />When I was 13-ish my best friend convinced me that if I put duck tape on my water bed mattress that I could poke stick pins in it and the water wouldn't leak out. Well she was right. Every place that duck tape IS ON would not leak. My 13 year old brain didn't think of the HOLE. A hole by definition is the absence of something. When you place a stick pin or 23 into the water bed bladder you create a hole or an absence. An absence of the duck tape, an absence of the water bed mattress which in turn creates an absence of water.<br /><br />It took my parents 2 hours to shop vac all the water out of my floor. But that's ok because I learned a valuable physics lesson. The faster you run around your mom plus the gravitational pull of the moon divided by the arc of her swing <strong>WILL NOT</strong> lesson the impact of the leather belt on your bottom.<br /><br />I've even had some questionable moments in my adult life. When the Prince of Nigeria emailed me asking for financial help I knew I couldn't turn him away. I mean come on, how many people could help a royal prince. Plus I knew it had to be real because all my friends and family got the same email so he must know me. Besides when I gave him my bank account number I asked him nicely to only take what he needed. I guess he was in more trouble than I though when my bank called to say my account had been emptied.<br /><br />Months later I still haven't had a thank you from the Prince but that's ok because I know he has his freedom and is healthy.<br /><br />Becoming a writer was a questionable moment also. However I know that no matter how it turns out I have made some awesome (real) friends and learned many valuable lessons(real ones). So I hope becoming a writer is a questionable moment for you but one that you choose to do whole heartily.<br /><br />Happy WritingL.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-53062654056115334462011-04-19T07:15:00.000-07:002011-04-19T07:54:08.944-07:00P is For...<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Pen in The Printer</span></strong></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br />I consider myself a very organized person. On top of things-nothing catches me by surprise-get it done kind of person. Except in my writing life. It's a mess. I'll blame my muse. Who, I've told you all before, is a drunk monkey stumbling around with a computer and a pen in her hairy hands.<br /><br />Imagine my shock when I tried to print out some chapters for revision and nothing came out of the printer. Imagine more shock when I discovered I forgot to fill said printer with paper. Apparently this is an important step to follow when using a printer. <br /><br />Enter the antagonist. I love pens. You know the really smooth flowing bright colored pens. Gel filled ones are the bestest ever!! Woo Hoo raise the roof..uh sorry. Ah yeah the Pen. I dropped my neon pink--I heart tadpoles pen straight down into the paper loader opening thingy. And it rolled and rolled and rolled all the way back into the paper feeder. I know it's called a paper feeder from the nice support technician who helped me but more on him/her later.<br /><br />Searching my desk for something to pull the pen out only showed me how messy it was. Trying to fish out the pen with a pencil made me a bit nervous so I switched to a fork. Not happening. Next came a finger nail file, letter opener, magnet (I know I know), fishing hook and string, pipe cleaner stolen from kids project and finally I came up with a brilliant idea sure to work.<br /><br />I put some tuna fish on a cotton ball and put it inside the printer and put the cat up there. He went CRAZY!! Digging and clawing and meowing and....shedding. If he could just knock the pen loose. His meowing went from "loud" to "OMG can't he shut up". I realized he had his paw stuck inside the printer wrapped around the cotton ball. He would NOT let go of the cotton ball. Slight panic set in when the cat stopped meowing and started hissing at me. He knew what I had done. Reaching out to soothe him showed me how dangerous a pissed off cat with three free legs can be. I don't think any of the scratches would require more than a few stitches.<br /><br />Calling The Husband or any other family member would only add to my growing list of "Guess what Lisa did now" so I called customer support. At least I'm a faceless moron to them.<br /><br />"Good Morning, Customer Support. This is Sydney, my badge number is......." the monotone voice went on forever. I couldn't tell if it was a he or a she. I hate when that happens. I always wind up saying mam to the sir and sir to the mam.<br /><br />"Hey Sydney, I need help. My cat is stuck in my printer and I can't get his paw out." I yelled so the he/she could hear me over the cat's very angry growls of pure hate being flung in my direction.<br /><br />"Um, sorry we don't do animal cases but I can help you change your ink cartridge. First..."<br /><br />"No, I don't need the ink cartridge changed I need to get my cat out of the printer so I can get my pen out so I can print out my story for revision." I was totally in a freak out mode now.<br /><br />"OK, calm down. I'm not supposed to do this but it's slow this morning so I'll help you. Is your printer the Ultra Deluxe 4000?" Sydney He/she said<br /><br />"No, It's the Simple Cheap 127."<br /><br />"That's too bad. I could help you if it was the Ultra. Do you want to upgrade now for a %40 discount?"<br /><br />"NO I NEED MY C A T out of my printer."<br /><br />"Whoa chill out Lady. I'm just here to help you and I can't help if your going to take that tone with me. Although it's kinda hot. Are you single? I see your address is 225.."<br /><br />Hanging up and making a mental note to move I rack my brains to figure out how to solve this. The ten year old comes in to see what is making all the noise that is interfering with his Star Wars video game conference and takes one look at me holding my bleeding arms and the cat and the printer.<br /><br />Rolling his eyes he goes into the kitchen and opens a can of cat food which promptly makes the cat let go of the cotton ball. Then he walks back and picks up my printer and gives it one shake and out falls my pen.<br /><br />I grounded him for 17 years, not for being smarter than I am but for showing me he's smarter than I am.<br /><br />Happy Writing.L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-83674854785499329962011-04-14T07:02:00.000-07:002011-04-14T07:20:26.150-07:00L is For...<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong><em>Live</em></strong></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong><em>Laugh </em></strong></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong><em>Love</em></strong></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#000000;"></span></div><br /><br /><div align="left">I was going to do a funny post about LDD in children (Leather Deficit Disorder, not to be confused with ADD a serious medical condition we know personally) but decided to make it short and sweet.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Live</span></strong></div><br /><div align="left">Live like you don't have tomorrow. Live like you didn't have yesterday. Live like there is only the now. Don't be afraid to try something new and exciting. Hell, try something new and boring. We are only here once (that I know of) and every second that ticks by is a second you can't get back. See ,there went one..... There's goes another. Live those seconds to the fullest. Even the sad ones. Fill your being with the essence of life and soak up the miracle of it.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Laugh</span></strong></div><br /><div align="left">Our house is full of laughter but it could always use more. We hold the secret of the universe inside ourselves and laughter is it's way of sneaking out. If you can't laugh then at least smile. Feel how it improves your mood instantly. Laugh until milk comes out your nose. You know you've done that. Or at least snorted like a rhino in mating season.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Love</span></strong></div><br /><div align="left">Ah, love. How can you live and have laughter if you do not have love. Love yourself for who you are, even all your flaws. Love your kids and pets and spouses (in whatever order you want). Love them like they will never hurt you. Love them like they have never been loved before. Love them when they least deserve it because that's when they need it most. </div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">Happy Writing </div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-8399015724297809042011-04-12T19:55:00.000-07:002011-04-12T21:17:58.459-07:00K is For...<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Kiki The Kleptomaniac </span></strong></div><br /><br /><div align="left">Once upon a time (yesterday) in a far away place (Philadelphia) there lived a little kleptomaniac named Kiki. Kiki wasn't a very good klepto. In fact she couldn't even steal the air she was breathing. Kiki would walk around town gulping in lungs full of oxygen like a fish out of water. Her eyes bulging from her head in an attempt to hoard all the atmosphere she could. But alas her lungs would not hold it all in and the air would escape. -She would sulk and cringe trying not to be seen. But the kindly King Kleptomaniac would spy her from his Kaleidoscope throne and call her out. <br /><br />"Kiki, you klutzy klepto, haven't you learned how to steal yet?" said the King. <br /><br />"No King Klepto, not yet." Kiki replied <br /><br />Kiki had tried to steal everything to no avail. There was the time she tried to steal the kangaroos of karumbia only to have them bounce away. She tried for some knight's klinky armor but it fell on her and gave her a kink in the neck.. Kiki even tried to steal Kevin Kite's Kerchief but the wind blew her away.<br /><br /> Kleptomania seemed so hard for Kiki but she never gave up.<br /><br /> One day Kiki was walking in a field of Kiwis drinking her Kool-aid when she saw a figure walking towards her. Squinting her eyes she saw it was Harry the Hoarder. Harry wasn't a very good hoarder. He kept leaving things behind and his apartment was as empty as a politician's heart. Harry and Kiki often met in the field of kiwi's to talk and drink kool-aid. <br /><br />"Kiki, I have to tell you something." ,Harry said, "You've stolen my heart, would you marry me?" <br /><br />Kiki thrilled to finally have successfully stolen something, rushed to Harry 's side, where piles of junk had fallen from his pockets. <br /><br />"Yes, I will." she said <br /><br /><strong>Morale of this story?<br /> "K" is a freaking hard letter to write about. Don't wait untill after your bedtime to put some words down.</strong> <br /><br /><em>Kleptomania is a serious mental condi <br />If you or a loved <br />has suffered <br />plea <br />call 1-800 -4 -56.<br /><br />WTF? Who stole part of my PSA?</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Thought of the day:<br /> <br />Kinky is using a feather <br />Perverted is using the whole chicken</span> </div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-64039779891821612062011-04-11T18:54:00.000-07:002011-04-11T19:11:27.800-07:00J is For.....<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>Jose Cuervo</strong></span></div><br /><br /><div align="left">You know I couldn't let the letter "J" go by and not talk about my fav ancestor. O.K. , so maybe he's not exactly my ancestor but I get teary-eyed when I think about him. For those of you underage I'm going to assume (wink wink) you don't know this is the man who invented Tequila. My absolute favorite drink. Rum is my second favorite and Captain Morgan and I go way back. </div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">Disclaimer for any future agents patrolling these bloggy waters: I love Tequila! Oh um I mentioned that already didn't I? With all due respect though I couldn't tell you the last time I had a Tequila based beverage in my possession.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">But when I do....</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">Anyway I though I'd pass along some interesting facts (to me anyway) about Jose and his concoctions.<br /><br /> <span style="color:#330099;"><strong>Fact #1</strong> <br />Was there really a person named Jose Cuervo? Yes. Jose Antonio de Cuervo was the first Tequila producer, obtaining the land from the King of Spain in 1758, before Mexico became an independent republic. In 1795, Jose María Guadalupe de Cuervo made the very first Vino Mezcal de Tequila de Jose Cuervo when he received the first official permit from the King of Spain to produce Tequila commercially.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;"><strong>Fact #2 </strong><br />Who was the first producer of Tequila in the world? Jose Cuervo, of course, since 1795.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;"><strong>Fact #3</strong><br /> Where is Jose Cuervo Tequila really made? All Jose Cuervo Tequila is made in the central Mexican town of Tequila in the state of Jalisco. According to the DOT (Declaration for the Protection of the Denomination of Origin—this is the Mexican law that oversees the protection of Tequila), only alcoholic beverages made with Blue Agave or agave azul (Agave Tequilana Weber blue variety) grown in the states of Jalisco,Michoacan, Nayarit, Guanajuato and Tamaulipas can be labeled as Tequila. No agave grown outside this region, including other countries, can be used for any product labeled as “Tequila.” </span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;"><strong>Fact #4</strong><br /> What is Tequila made from? Real Tequila is made from a plant called Blue Agave. Only the Agave Azul Tequilana Weber variety (Blue Agave) can be used for Tequila. Classified by German botanist F. Weber in 1905, the Blue Agave is commonly mistaken for a cactus, but it is really a relative of the lily (amaryllis) family. Blue Agave is sometimes known as maguey, mexic, pita and teometl. </span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;"><strong>Fact #5</strong> <br />How long does it take for an agave plant to reach maturity? Blue agave can take anywhere from 6 to 12 years to mature. This is when the Agave reach their peak in sugars and will yield the most Tequila. The plant is used entirely once and then more agave must be planted to continue the production process.<br /><br /> <strong>Fact #6</strong> <br />Why is there a worm in my Tequila bottle? THERE ISN’T. What you have is not a bottle of Tequila. The worm is found only in certain bottles of mezcal. The worm is nothing but a marketing gimmick!</span></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">Now where did I put that bottle. Happy Writing! </div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594512638337387634" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNnlCuVFFNngMTUOFdZUO-wRLU9Qa2jH4IAYM_xugd_fQQ23d3Nq8NeKQWHSmSuyO4hIbdW9Ho3V13WoT2AOjLIOkfcVju6YWD_jpyuiw6PirS5D1cIEg2VrcmzvarmpXOBvIQW-ctxVVl/s320/800px-Jose_Cuervo_jimador.jpg" /><br /> <br /><div align="left">Lucky MF'er taking out the heart of the Agave plant to make into Tequila.</div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-657959124851140052011-04-11T06:28:00.001-07:002011-04-11T07:07:22.794-07:00I is For.......<div align="left"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong><em>Information </em></strong></span></div><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong><em><br /><div align="left"></em></strong></span></div><br />In this day and age (I've always wanted to say that) we are inundated with information. Advertisements for material things. Directions on medicine bottles. Road signs, brochures, spam e-mail. Everyday there is someone else trying to tell us something new and amazing. It doesn't stop with the simplest things either. I understand directions on the airplane on how to put on your oxygen mask but do we really need a picture of someone washing their hands over a sink. Doesn't everyone over the age of 6 months KNOW you wash your hands in a sink? Then there is the problem of being misinformed on things. I know it's possible to have major confusion when something is being translated. <br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594325879898535426" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlW2AESCLQs-6RabxvhUj0YC_AMnVxLWyOp-Wz-95A0LEUydgyanF8hTECZEvUADHb-9-6Co9DJSwO6nKmnXK74a3DTdQ2PGq_RuoPpWNib5kHvbhxY8yiKJDt-2G-QN5PEzRr6Jza5gP2/s320/draft_lens4645462module34952562photo_1242885006funny-chinese-signs-5.jpg" /> <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594325756288487874" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie_BlKtKeHJTUYcuQhmcJrkOjM5cYrPMInghOuzyThcZPC9mt7KWMLe1X51VuTvpba9bh4sHMTvIa8UqDboUb-kmOZNKuMdHkAf12bJiEdkM7lnu6MwZT8Lo8FXGyYYxv9gpXYmAQx9-Ff/s320/tr2.jpg" /> <br /><br /><div align="left">But when the information is given to you in your native language there really is no excuse. Now I wouldn't consider this information an out right lies but you be the judge. <br />Here's a bit of questionable information I have received over the years: <br /><br /><span style="color:#330099;">The Dr. explaining exactly how wide my unborn babies (yes, twins) heads were. </span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;">The estimate on your car repair will be your final bill. </span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;">No, this medicine doesn't cause nausea or diarrhea.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#330099;">Waiting time from this point is 45 minutes. </span></div><span style="color:#330099;"><br /><br /><div align="left">Honest mom, I didn't...... </div><br /><br /><div align="left">Really honey those golf clubs ARE <br />my old ones.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><strong><em>Do you have any information you could have uses less/more of?</em></strong></div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-15063326313051891132011-04-09T06:44:00.001-07:002011-04-09T07:25:19.992-07:00H is For...<div align="center">Because I'm a slacker and the Heavens Luuuvvv to throw a monkey wrench into my best laid plans, this post will cover both the letters "G" and "H" as brought to you by Sesame...oh sorry. Um Oh yeah the letter "G"</div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Gangster Birds</span></strong></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"></span></strong></div><br /><div align="left"><br />My dad is a lover of nature, which I share but his current obsession is birds. Much to my mother's irritation. My dad knows all the types of locals birds and what they like to munch on and how best to put their birdhouses, feeding platforms, umbrellas in their little drinks and so on. </div><br /><p align="left"></p><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><p align="left"></p><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><p align="left">Sitting on their porch I listened to the call of the many winged creatures and made a decision (this is where you insert ominous music). I wanted more birds in my yard. The seemed so fun and happy and full of life. </p><br /><p align="left">"Dad, what kind of seed should I get to feed the birds." I asked</p><br /><p align="left">"It depends on what kind of bird you want to attract." said the expert </p><p align="left">"The kind with feathers." I snickered </p><br /><p align="left">"For amateurs like you it would be best to get X brand" Dad said </p><br /><p align="left">Our conversation continued but it was boring so I won't go into detail. Except to say I went to the feed store and looked for brand X and it was freaking EXPENSIVE. I could not see paying that much for seeds to throw on the ground and hope a bird would come by and eat it before the rain washed it away. So I called up the ole' father figure. </p><br /><p align="left">"Hey Dad, Can I just get G brand seeds since their the cheapest?"</p><br /><p align="left">I had already paid for G brand but I wanted to make sure. </p><br /><p align="left">"NO. Do NOT get the cheapest feed. You don't want the wrong kind of birds knowing where you live." he said</p><br /><p align="left">"UM OK, <span style="font-size:78%;">whatever </span>, ok Dad I'll get the X brand. Bye" I said <br /><br />The thought occured to me Dad might be going crazy. Granted the seeds didn't look as pretty and clean as the other brand but come on these birds where eating them off the DIRT.<br /><br /> The first day went great. I threw some seeds out and sat back and watched a few brightly colored species come in and daintily scratch and eat the food I had lovingly provided. <br /><br />The next day I tossed some more out and was amazed at the number that flew in. It was freaky. As if they had called their buddies up and told them where the food was. After all the seed was gone they did something strange. They didn't fly away. The birds just sat there, looking around. Some where looking at me. It creeped me out so I went inside. <br /><br />As usual I was busy the next day and didn't through any seed out. I left to go to the store and it was eerily quiet outside. Walking to my car I noticed hundreds of birds sitting around. In the trees. On the porch. On the roof of my car. Running back inside the house I collapsed in a seat and tried to figure out what to do.<br /><br /> Hearing a tapping on the back door I peeked out the window and saw something I will never forget. A steel gray dove sat on my doorstep. He had no feathers on his wings and I could see him flexing his tiny wing muscles, making the naked bird lady tattooed on his arm dance. Around his neck hung a cat's paw on a necklace.<br /><br /> Tap <br />Tap <br />Tap <br /><br />His beak hit the glass and sent chills down my spine. Looking more closely at the other petite avians, I noticed several of them had piercings in the most inappropriate places. I think one Blue Jay was packing but he kept his hood pulled low so I couldn't identify him. <br />Not knowing what to do I called my dad. <br /><br />"I told you not to use the cheap bird seed. There's nothing you can do now. They know where you live." he said before hanging up. <br /><br />Slowly as to not give them any reason to attack, I walked out and threw extra seed to them. The dove nodded at me and threw me a piece sign.<br /><br /> The morale of this story is don't be a cheap a$$ and buy crappy seed.<br /> <br />ON TO THE LETTER H.<br /> <br />H is For...... </p><br />Hope. <br />Here is a fitting poem from Emily Dickinson about Hope. <br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><strong><em><span style="font-size:180%;">Hope</span></em></strong> <br />Hope is the thing with feathers <br />That perches in the soul, <br />And sings the tune--without the words, <br />And never stops at all, <br /><br />And sweetest in the gale is heard; <br />And sore must be the storm <br />That could abash the little bird <br />That kept so many warm. <br /><br />I've heard it in the chillest land, <br />And on the strangest sea; <br />Yet, never, in extremity, <br />It asked a crumb of me </p><br /><p align="center"></p><br /><p align="center">Happy Writing and I promise to get around to all of your blogs sometime this weekend. </p>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-29108583413992446512011-04-06T19:35:00.000-07:002011-04-06T20:17:05.444-07:00F is For.....<div align="center"><em><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Fabliau</span></strong></em> </div><br /><p>Due to Mother Nature taking a pot shot at us with a few tornadoes, our electric and internet has been hazy. So I missed the <strong>"D"</strong> and <strong>"E"</strong> posts but I'm back now. </p><br /><p>For <strong>"D"</strong> I wanted to do a lovely piece of my fav Musketeer, D'Artagnan and for <strong>"E"</strong> I had Epiphany. But that's life and I'm more miffed that I didn't get a chance to see all of your great post. I hope to catch up soon. Onward to <strong>"F".</strong></p><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error"><br /><p>Fabliau</span> is something I knew about but had no idea what it was called<strong><em>.</em></strong> </p><br /><p>Fabliaux (plural) are " A medieval tale in eight-syllable verse. Humorous, often bawdy, fabliaux frequently satirized women and the clergy." </p><br /><p>HHMMM. Bawdy and humor. My kind of fun. </p><br /><p>The fabliau was extremely popular in France during the Middle Ages. Examples of fabliaux can be found in pre-Christian Oriental literature, in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, and in Boccaccio's Decameron. When the fabliau gradually disappeared, around the turn of the 16th century, it was replaced by the short story. </p><br /><br /><p>I was going to put examples of them here but most where a little too raunchy for my PG-13 site so I'll just give you the titles of the lesser naughty ones.<br /> </p><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"La vielle qui graissa la patte de chevalier" ("The old woman who paid the knight for favors.")</em></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"Berangier au long Cul" ("Berenger of the long arse") </em></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"Le Pauvre Clerc" ("The poor clerk") </em></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"Le Couverture partagée" ("The shared covering") </em></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"Le Pretre qui mangea les mûres" ("The priest who ate mulberries") </em></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"La crotte" ("The turd")<br /></em></span></p><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#330099;"><em>"Le Chevalier qui fist parler les cons" ("The Knight who made c**ts speak")</em> </span></p>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-60084594770953963632011-04-03T15:02:00.000-07:002011-04-04T04:36:52.725-07:00C s For....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7_3sOwxix4iisM9_mCbjetr0M1igEKsRKGpnuITaWuhmS05vptACWp4Euuu9RYWiYEDAL1Q7v-acWXya1KGTpWZlvOL_LZVs35JLjBxqfRmRuXH1KJW1_RqdUL1e1S_xVwKsofDp57fa/s1600/imagesCARKD2KO.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 183px; height: 275px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7_3sOwxix4iisM9_mCbjetr0M1igEKsRKGpnuITaWuhmS05vptACWp4Euuu9RYWiYEDAL1Q7v-acWXya1KGTpWZlvOL_LZVs35JLjBxqfRmRuXH1KJW1_RqdUL1e1S_xVwKsofDp57fa/s320/imagesCARKD2KO.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591536243937809666" /></a><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Curses</span></strong></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><br /><p>More specifically, book <strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Curses. </span></strong></p><br /><br /><p>Long, long ago before printing presses all manuscripts were hand written. Since a book was so rare it was highly susceptible to theft. Scribes would put book curses in the front off books to ward of thieves. It didn't work. According to many places I looked , libraries even went to far as to chain the books to the walls. I'd hate to see their late fees. <br /><br />Here are some examples of book curses I found: <br /><br /></p><br /><p>Thys boke is one And God's curse another; <br />They that take the one God geve them the other. <br />He who steals this book <br />may he die the death <br />may he be frizzled in a pan...<br /> </p><br /><p><em><span style="color:#330099;">That one should have been in KFC's original recipe book.</span></em> </p><br /><br /><br /><p>This present book legible in scripture <br />Here in this place thus tacched with a cheyn<br /> Purposed of entent for to endure <br />And here perpetuelli stylle to remeyne <br />Fro eyre to eyre wherfore appone peyn <br />Of cryst is curs of faders and of moderes <br />Non of hem hens atempt it to dereyne<br /> Whille ani leef may goodeli hange with oder.<br /></p><br /><p><em><span style="color:#330099;">I don't know about you but I think this one should have used spellcheck</span></em></p><br /><p><em><span style="color:#330099;"></span></em><br /><br />Steal not this Book my honest Friend <br />For fear the Galows should be your hend,<br /> And when you die the Lord will say<br /> And wares the Book you stole away? <br /><br />A variation on the same theme... <br />Steal not this book, <br />my worthy friend <br />For fear the gallows will be your end; <br />Up the ladder, and down the rope, <br />There you'll hang until you choke; <br />Then I'll come along and say - <br />"Where's that book you stole away?" <br /></p><br /><p><em><span style="color:#330099;">No wonder people stayed illiterate. "Borrow" some knowledge, get your neck snapped in half.</span></em></p><br /><p><br /><br />For him that Stealeth a Book from this Library, <br />Let it change into a Serpent in his hand & rend him. <br />Let him be struck with Palsy, & all his Members blasted. <br />Let him languish in Pain crying aloud for Mercy,<br /> Let there be no Surcease to his Agony till he sink to Dissolution.<br /> Let Bookworms gnaw his Entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not,<br /> When at last he goeth to his final Punishment, <br />Let the flames of hell consume him for ever & aye.<br /> </p><br /><p><em><span style="color:#330099;">I think "bookworms gnawing his entrails", says it all. </span></em></p><br /><br /><em>Edited: The book picture is not where I found the curses. I just liked how it looked. These curses are found inside <strong>really </strong>old texts. I've never read the above pictured book but would like too.heheh</em>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-19427028855846484982011-04-01T12:40:00.000-07:002011-04-01T20:30:44.958-07:00B Is For.....<div align="center"><em><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Bookends</span></strong></em></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></em></strong></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></em></strong></div><br /><div>According to my extensive research (five minutes browsing the web) the illustrious but often overlooked bookend was first used about 2500 years ago. Mostly made of wood or brass, they have stood the test of time. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>These brave helpers of the literate have done their jobs without fail. Holding the knowledge of galaxies and unknown aliens. Never embarrassed over tawdry company or sweaty loin-clothed natives. Nor flinching from cuddly bears and twirling ballerinas. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So please take the time to thank your bookends today. They do you a honorable service that is not only over looked but very under appreciated. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 174px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590705501032456450" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLRg-hhWeiL2khE6_6Ooz5ZH_vh7J-91wmpCHYSnOk-5B8UvXa4RLwAJIKeywQCxSkoTifB80axk78UPHKdRETC1Fn5NUKPx0h829xNrYtI6sVdcxNxhLigp2EBZZFpvgfv_h0ffGNw9It/s200/be5.jpg" /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 146px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590705195694512386" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5IZZRcO8dFjAT3uuGQSseJ8EwmB4zVTJPt_4qusg7Ic4e4_RF1qH3_HEiA4BkFMyzCy67n4bSLiKLP7hVDKVwcb_ksWfZJ-TMgivvr8HzcavYtO13uYWhLlMgiEkq4lj4eOEg10f5z0t0/s200/be2.jpg" /></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 146px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590705443050655138" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjujdGu6DcfI4H3g2hlSfwMVH1dvEOXf7kIB3ue9Yu2eVFyjBPWKMKsl3gQ93eJ06OwLUb9Iq-_aC2cjq9ewZY1yNkbVnQA8fAwfKyn_DQ988GIJ_Inf5OmLuBY0GuZEdPNbJJnNV4Eo3P5/s200/be4.jpg" /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 146px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590705376184101858" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0Ofsj96lbwUX16qWMkPbh4QfxTwY33aUClCex9d-YsFtrEPGVvy8387-XA6aOZPnNC2CDwRKSm4NPrT01U_uefRLs_0lX11fq3eM7MJNUi5nHSrYHhsIG94Ir1VqZ-KpDoMiyDjhw5Y7/s200/be3.jpg" /> <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 291px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590704989190059042" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnWgfkqtQ6rp2akINPmRZnGtR0vk9HQa7fUYEWZCj1PdfY752ELmBQJEn5EB8NmoW174O_tCVsJ757dyNsTWxkWlAA6fEW5wA8-9CD06rXTeTG-AP9lmC0kgeLTZ45-BRXg_Ge3CFagy7T/s400/be1.jpg" />L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-19851697926477169902011-03-30T12:45:00.000-07:002011-03-31T20:04:18.080-07:00A is For......<div align="center"><em><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Airport Novels</span></strong></em></div><br /><br />That's right people. The Airport Novel. Serious stuff. <br /><br />According to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Wikipedia</span>: <span style="color:#330099;"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><em>"An airport novel is typically a fairly long but fast-paced novel of intrigue or adventure that is stereotypically found in the reading fare offered by airport newsstands for travellers to read in the rounds of sitting and waiting that constitute air travel."</em> </span></span><br /><br />I've spent a few hours huffing and puffing in a sad attempt to run from terminal to terminal trying to catch the vomit comets. So I have a total 15 minutes of experience looking in the airport bookstore. All I did was grab a magazine to cut out letters and glue on a ransom note. <br /><br />But that's a whole other post. <br /><br />I thought I would put together some titles of airport novels I'd like to see: <span style="color:#006600;"><br /><br />1. 1,001 Uses For Your Used Earplugs. <br /><br />2. Airplane Etiquette: Why Bathing Is NOT A Sin.<br /><br /> 3. Airport Recipes: How To Make A Recipe From Peanuts, Stale Coffee and Mint Flavored Toothpicks. <br /><br />4. Murder In Bathroom Stall 9,804. <br /><br />5. Deciphering Flight Attendant Lingo: Please Have A Seat = Sit The F*ck Down, I've Got 300 More Idiots To Strap In Like Drunk Three Year <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Olds</span> On A Merry-Go-Round. </span><br /><br />Happy Writing!!!L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-4989717753191766692011-03-30T12:36:00.000-07:002011-03-31T05:16:10.807-07:00Are You Ready?As we gear up for the A-Z blogging challenge I would like to go over a few rules and regulations or in my case reputations.<br /><br />Due to my pickled brain cells and my frequent side trips down crazy lane I will be using a schedule to keep up with fellow alphabet soupers.<br /><br />I will be doing a first come-first comment preference. If you comment on my blog I will do my best (it's really a sad attempt) to comment on yours. <br /><br />I will start A-day visiting #1-20 and hope to keep moving in segments of 20 every day after.<br /><br />My post will be short, sweet, tongue-in-check and somehow tie into writing. <br /><br />So without further ado, please keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle until it comes to a full and complete stop. <br /><br />Happy WritingL.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-12357201779048709872011-03-27T17:37:00.000-07:002011-03-28T04:36:18.108-07:00Visit to the Bookstore: A StoryThis past Friday was my twin's 14th birthday so we decided to gas up the people mover and head south to Mobile. We, as a family, love day excursions. Provided we know what time we eat. That's the only requirement. After meandering through shops filled with furniture and bath essentials we spotted the BOOKSTORE. <br /><br />Three of us froze in our spots, our eyes seeking each other in silent support and ecstasy. The other two groaned and gagged.<br /><br /> Me, Twin B and the Baby yelled, " YAY!"<br /><br /> The opposing team made up of The Husband and Twin A, yelled, "NAY!!!" <br /><br />Given the strategic move I made 6 hours earlier of procuring the car keys and money, the opposing team decided their survival might hinge on keeping me in their sights. Entering the bookstore always produced the same sense of euphoria in me. The sights of neatly bound pages bursting with knowledge and hours of adventure. The aroma of coffee and ink titillating my senses beyond compare. And then there is the grunting of The Husband elbowing his way past me to get "The Good Seat" in the magazine isle.<br /><br /> Twin B , The Baby and I have a technique we share. We "weave" the bookstore . Start in the southern most corner and split up moving north through the isles in a slow meticulous crossing swirl. Much like the blanket patterns of the Junquila Tribe of Tunzibawa. <br /><br />After approximately 15 minutes the inevitable happened. <br /><br />The Husband came seeking knowledge. <br /><br />"Are you tired of looking yet?" The Husband moaned.<br /><br /> Through my gasps of outrage at his blasphemous tone I narrowed my already beady eyes in his direction. He took the hint and dragged twin A off with him towards the coffee bar. <br /><br /><strong><em>15 minutes later....</em></strong> <br /><br />I trolled down the self help stacks towards the clearance booth and stopped short as The Baby came running , motioning for me to follow and be quiet. Two lanes over I spied The Husband and Twin A lounging on the floor flipping through "Outrageous True Laws".<br /><br /> "Here's one," Twin A read, "It's against the law to make noises while moving boxes in the state of Ohio." <br /><br />"Oh, look at this," The Husband snorted. "It's illegal to use blue toilet paper to roll trees at Halloween in Hawaii." <br /><br />That would keep them occupied for a short time. Thank goodness it had pictures. <br /><br /><strong><em>15 minutes later....</em></strong> <br /><br />Trying to narrow my selections down to five books, my nasal passages started to smart. Frowning at the realization I was detecting smoke I panicked trying to find The Family. Not for fear of burning alive or losing such a valuable establishment. But from fear of my family being the cause of said smoke and subsequent fire. Racing down the isles toward the blue haze overhanging the tax preparation nook I sent up a small prayer there was an escaped arsonists lurking close. Rounding the corner my fear was confirmed. The Husband and Twin A had set fire to a small mound of stationary. <br /><br />"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I screamed/whispered. <br /><br />"Look what we made." The Husband grinned up at me. "This loose paper was just sitting here so we made a miniature fort but then we saw an ant crawling in and used a magnifying glass keychain and the sun to fry him dead. " <br /><br />Twin B and The Baby covered my eyes and turned me around. Slowly we made our escape back to our respective sections. <br /><br /><strong><em>15 minutes later...</em></strong> <br /><br />That cursed electronic tracking device called a cell phone alerted me to the text message Twin A had sent. <br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:courier new;">We are starving. We need food. Please send money or rescue p</span><span style="font-family:courier new;">arty.</span></strong> <strong><span style="font-family:Courier New;"></span></strong><br /><br />Because I am a loving and thoughtful mother I promptly deleted it and giggled. If this was a movie this would be the part where you scream at the screen ,"No, don't do that." <br /><br />But it's not. And I couldn't have heard you anyway. <br /><br /><strong><em>15 minutes later.....</em></strong> <br /><br />A portly security officer sporting a three haired goatee waddled up my isle. Behind him was a homeless looking figure. The figure was hunched over in tattered, dirt stained clothes. His beard dragging the ground as he shuffled to a stop. A small lump hid behind his legs, glowing eyes peaking out. Was that a dog? <br /><br />"Mam, do these two belong to you?" the officer jabbed his finger towards the odorous duo. <br /><br />"No sir, I'm here with my husba.....OH MY GOD!" <br /><br />"Mam, we caught these two cooking a seagull between tax law and photography. They said they where abandoned and left for dead a few hours ago. By you. We understand if they do belong to you. We have several families that come in here and usually they have one or two that just don't do the book thing. However, they normally sit in the lounge and wait. I'm sorry but we're going to have to ask you to leave." <br /><br />Not daring to touch The Husband and Twin A I rounded up the two I could call sane and proceeded to the check out lane. Hiding my face and gagging over the smell of burnt feathers I threw some money at the cashier. <br /><br />"I'm sorry but this doesn't cover the damages. You are the one responsible for the removal of the charred bird and cardboard structure complete with toilet capabilities, right?" <br /><br />Throwing a few more Jacksons at the counter I ran out, vowing to shop online next time.L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-301271020927638892011-03-22T20:14:00.000-07:002011-03-22T20:31:42.455-07:00Interview with Angela Felsted<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihktBzPUcuZ43vnexiEvR9xkOWTCyp0zJcNBk3GC9_37_gBHGQGiNVgpFJP8BJykSqvBV8iJxruoXSg_QozfWhUmWCXbRH9PRrnskerJqkpgf8ifSA3M878PzvHrAaco1URvu7gTZZe43Y/s1600/angela"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 147px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 220px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587109474187763394" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihktBzPUcuZ43vnexiEvR9xkOWTCyp0zJcNBk3GC9_37_gBHGQGiNVgpFJP8BJykSqvBV8iJxruoXSg_QozfWhUmWCXbRH9PRrnskerJqkpgf8ifSA3M878PzvHrAaco1URvu7gTZZe43Y/s400/angela" /></a><br /><br />During my 200 follower giveaway I had many people stop by and enter. Angela over at <a href="http://my-poetry-place.blogspot.com/">My Poetry and Prose Place</a> won an interview. But really aren't we the ones winning when we get to hear about other authors and poets? Please visit her blog and enjoy her interview.<br /><br /><br />Your Bio says your a writer, musician and poet. If you had to put them in order of favorite, could you? If so what would it be?<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Poetry first. It’s in my blood. If you cut me with a knife, I’d probably<br />bleed words. </span><br /><br />How long have you been writing?<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I've been writing BADLY all my life. In fact, I almost failed freshman English<br />when I was in college. I dreaded writing then, saw it like a horrible demon<br />that was out to get me. Mostly because of all the rules I had to follow:<br /></span><span style="color:#3333ff;">grammar, punctuation, staying away from passive voice.<br />Yep, if writing was a demon, all those horrible rules were its teeth.<br />Then, about three years ago, I started writing out of desperation. I had too<br />many ugly feelings and no where to put them. So I put them on paper, and I<br />discovered something awesome. Writing has healing powers.<br />See, I used to have a perpetually bleeding lower lip. But it wasn't until I<br />started writing that I realized those scabs and scars were emotional. I was<br />able to stop picking at my lip though writing. So I suppose you could say it<br />was my miracle cure. </span><br /><br />How long have you been a poet?<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I started writing poetry regularly my freshman year at college.</span><br /><br /><br />I see you have a published work titled "Care" at <a href="http://www.thechristianpoet.org/poetry-gallery/christian-poetry-gallery.html">The Christian Poet</a>.<br />Would you tell us about it?<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">It's a sonnet. Probably the first sonnet I took seriously. Although, when I<br />started writing "Care" in fifth grade it was nothing more than a<br />disorganized sketch of my feelings. “Care” was my first therapy piece. </span><br /><br /><br />I often see poems or snippets of them in books mostly at the chapter<br />headings. I feel like the really set the tone for the following pages. How do<br />you feel about that.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I love that. </span><br /><br /><br />Do you think poets get the credit they deserve?<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Yes. Because poets don't write for money and fame, they write for love.</span><br /><br /><br />What is your favorite poet/ favorite poem.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Favorite Children's Poet: Robert Louis Stevenson.<br /><br />Favorite Adult poet: Lucille Clifton.<br /><br />Favorite Poem: The Highwayman</span><br /><br /><br />What are your inspirations for writing poetry?<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">My kids, events from my past, and feelings when they come in strong waves. I<br />have random stuff circling around in my head constantly. So often times I'm not<br />even sure what's in there until I put pen to paper. </span><br /><br /><br />Would you please tell us about your novel.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">The one I'm working on now takes place at West Springfield High School in the<br />Washington DC suburbs, where Katrina Jackson, the daughter of an anti-Mormon<br />pastor is forced to pair up with Mormon Quinn Walker for physics class.<br />The most fun thing about writing this story is that it's told from 1st person<br />alternative points of view. And I have to admit, writing from the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">POV</span> of a guy<br />is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. </span><br /><br /><br />Do you have any advice for someone interested in writing poetry.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I think the most important thing a beginning poet can do is write.</span><br /><br /><br /><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;">Thank you Angela so much for this and I hope everyone reads at least one poem today to enrich our lives.</span></em></strong>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-6541484191226283952011-03-21T10:40:00.001-07:002011-03-22T10:37:38.109-07:00Guest Interview Tomorrow!!! Angela FelstedHey guys and gals. If your looking for my crusader challenge #2 click <a href="http://lacolvin.blogspot.com/2011/03/crusader-challenge-2updates-and-more.html">here</a>. <br /><br />Please check back Wednesday when I have an awesome guest interview with Angela <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Felsted</span> at <a href="http://my-poetry-place.blogspot.com/">My Poetry and Prose Place</a> . Until then some randomness.<br /><br />I once wrote a check for over a million dollars at a company I worked for. (I was one of the financial peeps) Anyway, I had to practise writing out the numbers before I did it because I was so scared I would mess it up.<br /><br />I came home yesterday to find one of my 14yr old twins sitting on the couch with tin foil wrapped around his head. I asked him why he was wasting my foil and he replied "The Aliens were trying to contact me but I've deflected <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">their</span> attempts." <br /><br />I hate meatloaf but love the way it smells when its cooking.<br /><br />Can you guys tell I haven't started my revision yet? My muse is bored and won't come out to play so I really have to start on it soon. See ya tomorrowL.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-50774722617910733632011-03-19T20:02:00.000-07:002011-03-19T20:25:36.740-07:00Crusader Challenge #2...Updates and More<div><div>Well my blogging life has not gone as planned these past 2 weeks but never fear I will get back in the thick of things soon. My 200 follower giveaway went fantastically great and I have 2, yes i said 2, awesome guest interviews coming soon for you.<br /><br />In the meantime <a href="http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/03/write-hope-for-japan-second-crusader.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RachaelHarrie+%28Rach+Writes...%29">Rach</a> has come up with ANOTHER cool crusader challenge. We have to write a flash fiction piece in 100 words or less starting with "The gold fish bowl teetered..." Please go check out all the other <a href="http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/03/write-hope-for-japan-second-crusader.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RachaelHarrie+%28Rach+Writes...%29">crusad</a><a href="http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/03/write-hope-for-japan-second-crusader.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RachaelHarrie+%28Rach+Writes...%29">ers and their entries. </a>Here is my challenge entry:<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#006600;">The goldfish bowl teetered on the edge of the research table. One more push and I would be free. My strength was fading from the briny water and my throat closed on it's foul taste. The liquid, murky with my dying scales, held just enough minerals to keep me in my mermaid state.</span></strong><br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#006600;">Vibrations on the surface announced the doctor's return. Unable to control the rising panic I rammed against the glass, ignoring the damage I caused myself. I had to reach the air and return to human form to escape this prison. Failing my kingdom was not an option.</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="color:#006600;"></span></strong><br /><span style="color:#000000;">100 words on the dot. I think...</span><br /><br />Last bit of news. Deidra over at <a href="http://astorybookworld.blogspot.com/">A Story Bookworld</a> has given me a really awesome Powerful Woman award. Thanks Deidra. Go check out her blogs. </div><div> </div><div> </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji7pl_QtwsIt-Zc-GKm2MCT3bgAL9Z-fKmtvle427v6NUAB7HSBtni407v9N07D_IWx2ik59NUxUwVg6r2OixbncCsLoIPeq68inLpcAMWL98gwA7_YPyfO7i1I_T6CMisId3rLeQEVXSO/s1600/powerfulwomanwriteraward.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 256px; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585997773367709762" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji7pl_QtwsIt-Zc-GKm2MCT3bgAL9Z-fKmtvle427v6NUAB7HSBtni407v9N07D_IWx2ik59NUxUwVg6r2OixbncCsLoIPeq68inLpcAMWL98gwA7_YPyfO7i1I_T6CMisId3rLeQEVXSO/s400/powerfulwomanwriteraward.jpg" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><div></div></div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-41991576620703812782011-03-14T11:03:00.000-07:002011-03-14T15:16:47.191-07:00Giveaway Winners!!!!! Oh and Answers too.<span style="color:#ffff00;"></span><br /><br />Hi All,<br /><br /><br />Yes , I know I'm late and I didn't even put up a Monday Funny Column. All I can say is you gotta love life, right? Well , technically no you don't, but then your $400 an hour psychologist just looks like a waste of money. I finally got around to my 200 follower giveaway and questions. I would like to thank everyone who has followed me and commented on my posts. A big congratulations to the winners. I'll contact you about your prizes. I swear. Promise. No lie.<br /><br /><span style="color:#000099;">First place is:</span> <a href="http://my-poetry-place.blogspot.com/">Angela Felsted </a><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Second Place is:</span> <a href="http://margoberendsen.blogspot.com/">Margo Berendsen</a><br /><span style="color:#990000;">Third Place is:</span> <a href="http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/">L. Diane Wolfe</a><br /><br />Please go check out their blogs and check back soon for interviews. Part of the giveaway was for fellow bloggers to ask questions about me. Here they are.<br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#330099;"><strong><em>What genres do you write in, and do you have a single one that's your favourite to read?</em></strong></span><br />I started writing in YA fantasy but have one wip in MG. I don't know if I'll ever do it but I'm drawn to horror and humor. Maybe a stand-up-comic-zombie-slasher is in the works? :)<br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#000099;"><strong><em>It's sounds like you live in a household full of males (human and animal), how does the make your life fun/interesting/insane, and how does it inform your writing?</em></strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">I am the only female in a house full of testosterone. Both human and animal. It is completely insane. I think I have a better perspective on the male psyche but sometimes when I'm really sad about a scene they all look at me like "mommas lost it again" . I have to really work at not letting my female characters fade into the background. On the other hand all my MC females are really strong minded and don't wait for a rescue. I do have to work my writing around sports and really bad smelling laundry but I can manage. <span style="font-size:78%;">As long as the tequila bottle stays filled.<br /></span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#000099;"><strong><em>I want to know what's your theme song? That is, what song plays in your head when you think about your life?<br /></em></strong></span>OHHHHH. I LOVE this question. I really have many different lyrics that work with my life. It depends on my mood and what's happening but if I had to pick just one song....<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>"Ironic" by Alanis Morisette</strong> Lyrics <a href="http://www.lyrics007.com/Alanis%20Morissette%20Lyrics/Ironic%20Lyrics.html">Here</a><strong><br /></strong><strong><br /></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#000099;">Of all the things you have written, is their one line that stands out in your mind, one that has you thinking . . . wow I wrote that!</span></em></strong><br />Yes, but not so much for any eloquence but that it really hit the way I wanted to scene to go.<br /><br />"Have you ever felt like the world was walking a straight line and you were slightly off center and two steps behind? That's how I feel every day. Every. Single. Day."<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#000099;">My question to you is: what's the one most valuable piece of advice you've learned from your writing course? </span></em><br /></strong><span style="color:#000099;"><span style="color:#000000;">Oh way too hard. HMM. First off that I can't fix what I didn't write and that I need to trust my muse. Second is that EVERY SINGLE WRITER has written crap. Even the very best author out there has a first draft that looks like a flea ridden maggot barfed all over the page.</span></span><strong><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#000099;">What are your goals as a writer? Specifically?</span></em><br /></strong>1. To finish my first ever novel.<br />2. To get an agent.<br />3. To get said novel published.<br />4. To be so stinking rich my breath turns to gold dust.<br />5. To wake up from my dream and finish my first ever novel.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#000099;"><em>What's your schedule like? I'm always interested in how others manage to balance work, life, networking and writing.</em></span><br /></strong>Right now it's pretty hazy. No, not because I'm drunk. Although.... When all the planets are aligned and the heavens have parted and the angels sing down upon me... I like to write in the mornings until about noonish Mon-Fri. NOTHING on the weekends. However, that is rarely the case so I still try to get something down on paper at least twice a week.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#000099;">Do you think size matters?</span></em><br /></strong>OMG Yeah. What kind of question is that? Jeez. Uh. Oh . Do you mean in writing? Um well then. NO . As with anything (not remotely pervy :) ) size only matters if you are looking for it. Otherwise it's all about quality but if your the lucky few who happen to come across a largish well "worked" um book then that's wonderful.<strong><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#000099;">So my question is: do you have any tips on funny? And how to write and get laughs?</span></em><br /></strong>No none. I would love to write funny stories. I love Erma Bombeck. Most people have plenty of funny things that happen in their life. I would say try to draw from that. Don't push to make things funny. Sorry I'm a slacker on this department even though I want to write in comedy eventually.<br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#000099;"><strong>"Do you have a marketing plan and what does it look like?"<br /></strong></span></em>Yes. It's a slinky black teddy cut high on the thigh. I plan on pairing it with some leather boots and my.. I mean BUY a whip and chains and leather gag mask and go visit my PR. Honestly I haven't gotten that far but I will tell you that part scares me.<br /><strong>.<br /><br /></strong><strong><em><span style="color:#000099;">Question? What inspired you to start blogging?<br />What's the coolest thing you've learned since joining the </span><span style="color:#000099;">blogosphere?</span></em><br /></strong><span style="color:#000000;">That's two questions. Your disqualified. HeHe. Well my fellow writing buddy Kari Marie gave me some advice on building a platform and mentioned I might want to start a blog now to get my name out there. I didn't realize I would love it. I think the coolest thing is being able to click a few buttons and speak to authors all over the world will varying degrees of advice, success and experience. Plus no one knows when I'm drinking.</span><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Thanks guys and gals. Your the best!!!</span><br /></strong>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-23699901036537688122011-03-10T20:24:00.000-08:002011-03-10T20:36:39.184-08:00Revision Rewind #1 and Giveaway<span style="color:#993399;">F<em>or my 200 follower giveaway please click </em></span><a href="http://lacolvin.blogspot.com/2011/03/200-follower-giveaway-and-some-changes.html"><em><span style="color:#993399;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="color:#993399;">. It ends Saturday (sometime) :) so please stop by and enter.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#993399;"></span></em><br /><span style="color:#000000;">A few days ago I announced I was starting my revision course on my first novel. When I began writing many moons ago I knew I would have a lot to learn. Boy did I!! Now that I'm on to the revision I wanted to do a weekly post about my journey and what I learn along the way. I hope to pass along some advice on what not to do and maybe make someone elses journey a little easier. I've heard that the revision process is what makes or breaks a writer. Many people start out with all the right intentions of creating a wonderful piece of word artistry, but they wind up tossing the pile in the fire after the first draft is done.</span><br /><br />I'm going into this process with my eyes wide open and my heart full of trust in myself and my story. I hope to have an update every Friday, starting with this one. Since this is my first Revision Rewind, I wanted to start off with asking you for any advice you might want to share. <br /><br /><strong><em>If you have already revised anything, what is the best piece of advice you can give to a new writer on this process. Do you have favorite websites that have helped you? Do you have any techniques that you just can't do without. Maybe any superstitions?</em></strong><br /><br />Happy Writing.L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-51144978803630894742011-03-08T18:56:00.000-08:002011-03-08T19:11:56.544-08:00Do you Review?<em><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>200 follower giveaway click </strong></span></em><a href="http://lacolvin.blogspot.com/2011/03/200-follower-giveaway-and-some-changes.html"><em><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>here</strong></span></em></a><em><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>.</strong></span></em><br /><br />I've been drowning in YA lit recently. On purpose. I'm trying to get a better feel of voice and tone before I revise my own YA wip. The trouble is I'm having a really hard time finding one that satisfies me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Before I started writing I could tear a book apart with all the things wrong with it. From the atrocious cover to an overly sappy acknowledgment. I've been known to throw a book across the room, calling it all sorts of nasty vile names. Question the writer's sanity and even look up the publisher to make sure they're real.<br /><br /><br /><br />Since I've been writing though I'm hesitant to rip the author a new one. I understand how hard it is to get the character just so. I feel the writer's pain of no control over the cover (not yet but I can imagine). When it's my turn at thanking my peeps, it will be KING of sappiness and humble tears. I will be everything I laughed at in the before life.<br /><br /><br /><br /><strong><em>How do you review a book knowing how hard it is to even finish a first draft? Do you stick <span style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffff00">to</span> just the facts or do you delve into how the book makes you feel. Do you look at the novel as a reader or does your writerly instincts take over?</em></strong>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-69392113956120990392011-03-06T10:22:00.000-08:002011-03-07T04:47:50.440-08:00Gas: The New Four Letter Word.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCytmfRwNdhSWMNN3kQu8yBR7TJ-eHSwDHp4_-EeiYwQ8hiuv4FzahdOA8h019QCBaydBbZMyZaBgE57rqjKp_WKcnT-THRkHnPPhJ1_wD91btLajz_3vn5rEUQUnQkLxzKY2tU0HEr5fx/s1600/687954%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 267px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581034213680706770" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCytmfRwNdhSWMNN3kQu8yBR7TJ-eHSwDHp4_-EeiYwQ8hiuv4FzahdOA8h019QCBaydBbZMyZaBgE57rqjKp_WKcnT-THRkHnPPhJ1_wD91btLajz_3vn5rEUQUnQkLxzKY2tU0HEr5fx/s400/687954%255B1%255D.jpg" /></a> <span style="font-size:130%;"><em><strong><span style="color:#006600;">Looking for the</span></strong></em> </span><em><span style="color:#006600;"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">200 Follower giveway? Go </span><a href="http://lacolvin.blogspot.com/2011/03/200-follower-giveaway-and-some-changes.html"><span style="font-size:130%;">HERE</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;">.</span><br /></strong></span></em><br /><div>I live in south Alabama. The real rural part. We're between "Hometown of the Largest Snake Turd" and "You Got a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Purty</span> Mouth". WAY out in the boondocks.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So needless to say we use a lot of gas. Whether it be in our cars or tractors or Mae Belle's Avon wagon. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Petroleum</span> is a way of life down here. With the gas prices going up again we're experimenting with <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">alternative</span> fuel "recipes". So far we have had mild success with some and since we are all in this together I though I'd share some. If you have any success or complaints please forward them to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">OCAP</span>.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Alternative</span> Fuel Recipes:</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>1. <span style="color:#3333ff;">Government <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Personnel</span> Fuel</span> </div><br /><div>Take 3-4 of your local <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">government</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">personnel</span> (you know you have extras) and put them into a large vat of hot water. Simmer until a fine layer of crap rises to the top. (shouldn't take long) Scoop off and run through the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">Microlaxerfizer</span> 2000. You should have enough alternative fuel to last 100 years. Repeat as needed.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>2. <span style="color:#3333ff;">Convicts <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Ala</span>' Fred <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">Flintstone</span> style</span></div><br /><div><span style="color:#3333ff;"><span style="color:#000000;">Visit your local jail</span> </span><span style="color:#000000;">and "borrow" </span><span style="color:#000000;">the worst offenders. Cram as many of them as possible under your hood. Hook an electrically charged wire to a ..ah... sensitive spot and when you push the gas pedal *wham* you have instant momentum. Speeding is encouraged.</span></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>3. <span style="color:#3333ff;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">Trainpool</span></span></div><br /><div><span style="color:#000000;">This isn't exactly fuel but another alternative. In carpool you have one car and several people. But now that's just not enough. I'm introducing the "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">Trainpool</span>". You need to get your closest friends and relatives and hooked your cars together like a train. Put all your vehicles in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">neutral</span> and the lead car pulls your around town for all you shopping needs. You will need to work out a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">schedule</span> of who gets to be lead car every few days as most cars aren't lasting long.</span></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I have one of those cars that lets me know when my fuel is running low. Apparently I can't look at the big red E and tell. When the tank gets to a certain point I hear "Low Fuel, 30 miles until empty." I filled up yesterday <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">which</span> cost $2,866,301.87. When the car reset itself I heard "Low Fuel, 31 miles until empty." Time to break out the horse and buggy.</div><br /><div></div>L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-48496287953716934622011-03-05T06:35:00.000-08:002011-03-05T06:55:40.921-08:00200 Follower giveaway and some changesI'm back!!! I know you're like "what, who is this?". It's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">ok</span> I missed you too. I wanted this post to be about YA lit but I need to get the goodies and info out there so I'll do the smart post Monday.<br /><br /><strong><em>First, </em></strong> I'm doing a new schedule. With me starting revision classes soon I just need to be more organized. Here is my new blogging when/what/who's.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Monday</span>--Comedy, no telling what you'll get but it will be centered around funny stuff. At least to me. :)<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Wednesday</span>--All things concerned with writing. From the importance of spell check to trends in publishing.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Friday</span>--Revision Rewind. This <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">post</span> will be about my journey through my revision and what I've learned that week.<br /><br /><strong><em>Second,</em></strong> I was a finalist in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">the</span> first crusade!!! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">OMG</span> was that not one fun ride? So a huge thanks and shout out to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Rach</span> and the crusaders!!<br /><br /><strong><em>Third</em></strong>, During this last week I've jumped over 200 followers. Which in itself is awesome but when you combine it with the fact I've only been blogging for 2 months and a week it pretty <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">FREAKING</span> awesome. So of course I'm giving sway some things and since I missed the 50/100/150 follower mark I plan on giving away for those things too.<br /><br />If you want to be entered in the giveaway please leave a comment for this post. Also since I rarely talk about myself please leave a question with your comment and I will answer in a later post. Here are the points for the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">giveaway</span>:<br /><br />1--commenting<br />2--commenting and question<br />3--commenting , question, and mentioning about it on your blog. Just link it back here so all the other <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">bloggers</span> can visit you too.<br /><br />For every point you have I'll put your name in a jar and randomly pull out the winners.<br />I will close the giveaway post next Saturday, March 12<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> and let you know who won.<br /><br />I know, I know! What about the prizes?<br /><br />Third place will get an interview on my blog.<br />Second place will get a $15 gift certificate to Amazon.com.<br />First place will get both an interview and a $15 gift certificate to Amazon.com.<br /><br />Thanks to the entire blogging <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">community</span> and Happy <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Writing</span>!!L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1994817899578830431.post-40606696440498733102011-03-01T13:20:00.000-08:002011-03-01T13:48:58.039-08:00I'm not Dead...I thinkI didn't die. I didn't fall into a quagmire of boiling quicksand. I didn't throw myself into a belching <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">volcano</span> of doom. I didn't let the Mayans have me either.<br /><br />My (very missed) hubby came home after being gone (on a job) for a month. I will be back by Friday I promise.<br />In the mean time I have surpassed 200 followers---<span style="font-size:180%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">OMG</span></span>--- *<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">giveawaycomingsoon</span>*. Thank you to all of the newbies and the oldies for putting up with me. ;)<br /><br />I have been given some awards and bless you for that. I will forward them soon and tell you all about the wonderful peeps who gave them to me.<br /><br />I am almost...gasp...done...cough...following..ack..all the crusaders. ALMOST DONE.<br /><br />I know I'm forgetting something but that's just me. See ya around.<br /><br />Happy Writing!!!L.A. Colvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02660594640480581883noreply@blogger.com15