So Three Guys Walk Into A Bar......

Happy Monday All,

I hope you guys and gals had a nice weekend. I'm slacking today and have to go sub for kindergarten this afternoon so this is a short and sweet post. I ran across these and thought you would appreciate some laughter on a Monday morning. Happy Writing.

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An aspiring author comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is--”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”

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Changing a lightbulb the writer's way.

1st draft. Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft. Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft. Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft. Lose the light bulb.
5th draft. Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft. Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero's mentor.
7th draft. Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft. Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft. Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn't change it.
10th draft. Hero changes light bulb.

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Three guys are sitting at a bar
#1: "...Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes."


#2: "What do you do for a living?"

#1: "I'm a stockbroker. How much do you make?

#2: "I should clear $60,000 this year."

#1: "What do you do?"

#2: "I'm an architect."

The third guy has been sitting there quietly, staring into his beer, when the others turn to him.
#2: "Hey, how much do you make per year?"
#3: "Gee... hmmm... I guess about $13,000."
#1: "Oh yeah? What kind of stories do you write?"

13 comments:

  1. These were so funny! And I love your blog! I found you because you commented on thelitexpress today.

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  2. Those were great. Thanks for the laughs. I've been working like a war horse. My hand is killing me, but can't stop.

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  3. Hahaha! Love the first one! :) Happy Monday - hope your subbing went well.

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  4. Oh I love the lightbulb joke, doesn't that just about say it all!

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  5. Loved all of them, especially the lightbulb one! Thanks for the laugh!

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  6. Angela,
    Yeah that ones my fav too.

    Linda,
    Welcome, I love The Lit express and what you gals do on there.

    M Pax,
    I don't see how you do that by hand. My hats off to you!

    Talli,
    Thanks and my day went fine. Except for all the runny noses and stomach aches. ugh I bathed in germ x hand sanitizer.

    Joanne,
    Thnaks, when I saw that one I though for a minute someone had looked at my wip. hehe

    Mary Mary,
    I love a good joke. Your welcome.

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  7. Cute! Thanks for sharing these!

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  8. Oh the lightbulb joke is fantastic! Thanks for the laugh today.

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  9. LOL!!!
    Love it! That light bulb one is a crack up.

    And thanks for your thoughtful comment about my book excerpt and blog (I read up above!!). I do it for myself, but gee...it sure feels good to know that other people appreciate it too! :-D

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  10. Alexia,
    Your most welcome.

    Kari,
    That joke actually looks like just my first draft. haha

    Rane,
    It does but I know it can be nerve racking. There is a reason you don't see any of my work around here. heheh not yet anyway.

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  11. Too funny! And unfortunately true. :)

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