K is For...

Kiki The Kleptomaniac


Once upon a time (yesterday) in a far away place (Philadelphia) there lived a little kleptomaniac named Kiki. Kiki wasn't a very good klepto. In fact she couldn't even steal the air she was breathing. Kiki would walk around town gulping in lungs full of oxygen like a fish out of water. Her eyes bulging from her head in an attempt to hoard all the atmosphere she could. But alas her lungs would not hold it all in and the air would escape. -She would sulk and cringe trying not to be seen. But the kindly King Kleptomaniac would spy her from his Kaleidoscope throne and call her out.

"Kiki, you klutzy klepto, haven't you learned how to steal yet?" said the King.

"No King Klepto, not yet." Kiki replied

Kiki had tried to steal everything to no avail. There was the time she tried to steal the kangaroos of karumbia only to have them bounce away. She tried for some knight's klinky armor but it fell on her and gave her a kink in the neck.. Kiki even tried to steal Kevin Kite's Kerchief but the wind blew her away.

Kleptomania seemed so hard for Kiki but she never gave up.

One day Kiki was walking in a field of Kiwis drinking her Kool-aid when she saw a figure walking towards her. Squinting her eyes she saw it was Harry the Hoarder. Harry wasn't a very good hoarder. He kept leaving things behind and his apartment was as empty as a politician's heart. Harry and Kiki often met in the field of kiwi's to talk and drink kool-aid.

"Kiki, I have to tell you something." ,Harry said, "You've stolen my heart, would you marry me?"

Kiki thrilled to finally have successfully stolen something, rushed to Harry 's side, where piles of junk had fallen from his pockets.

"Yes, I will." she said

Morale of this story?
"K" is a freaking hard letter to write about. Don't wait untill after your bedtime to put some words down.


Kleptomania is a serious mental condi
If you or a loved
has suffered
plea
call 1-800 -4 -56.

WTF? Who stole part of my PSA?




Thought of the day:

Kinky is using a feather
Perverted is using the whole chicken

9 comments:

  1. OMG Lisa, I think I just woke up the roommate laughing at this post. Brilliant! Love the ending. Your Thought of the day is going to keep me chuckling today.

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  2. that was great! I haven't done k myself yet. I like K, but it's not conducive to inspired writing today...
    Happy K day!

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  3. I am having a problem with N and O. And know the feeling about going to bed with letters floating around in ones head! Chased by the Alphabet in what sleep I got last night.

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  4. This was so adorable. Loved your klepto theme and it became even funnier at the end with stealing the numbers from the phone number. Very clever. i like your wit.

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  5. OMG, that was too entertaining to read!

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