The Truth and Part 3

If your looking for the #1 challenge for the crusade click here.

My lie was that I speak more than one language.

Other than a smattering of phrases in French (courtesy of an exchange student), Spanish (we live in the south so that's a must) and Korean (an employment opportunity that I despised and quit after 6 weeks). I only speak English although that's to be questioned on occasion. :)
I LOVE shark and I love to fish for shark. However, I refuse to eat shark fin soup because of the inhuman way they harvest it. I have double jointed thumbs and love every single kind of pink flamingo. The tackier the better. I do have a nice metal sculpture of a flamingo that's not tacky at all. I can trip on thin air and have had every color of rabbit's foot possible. This challenge was extremely fun!!!

Now on to today's post. This is my last part of my critique and you can find my other posts here and here. You can also click on the page above for the entire critique. I hope someone can find some valuable info and help. Here is my snippet and Marieke's advice in blue.

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The pounding on my bedroom door startled me awake. Pulling a pillow over my ears, I rolled over and breathed deep, trying to calm my racing heart . At least the racket had pulled me from my nightmare. They where always the same. Feeling like I was being watched by a dark shadow. The flutter of wings and children screaming. Distorted bodies littering a barren mountain. No amount of "talking it out" with Dr. Shallen could dilute the images seared in my mind. My mom finally stopped making me go to the counselor, chalking the dreams up to teenage angst.


There's a rule that says never start
with your MC waking up, unless there's a very good reason you're
starting at exactly that moment. More often than not, waking up is too
mundane.
Of course, waking up scenes - as well as dream scenes - have been done
to great effect. Nevertheless, I think you could do without here.

I don't think you have the YA voice down to a t yet. Comments like
'dilute the images', 'teenage angst', convince me the narrator is
older. The next few paragraphs have the same problem, although it does
get better. Voice is without doubt the hardest thing to learn. The
only way you can learn is by writing loads and reading loads and
continuing to improve on your craft :)

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Voice is something I think I will be working on for a long time. I've been reading tons more YA than ususal, trying to get a better feel for it but just writing will probably help me more than anything.



Do you have problems finding your voice or do you have advice on how to get it right?