Part 2 of My Critique

Thanks to everyone who stopped by for the Bernard Pivot blogfest yesterday. It was so fun!! I had a lot of comments on the maggot farming so I thought I would share this. Now on to today's post.

If your looking for part 1 of my critique you can go here and if your looking for the whole thing you can go here or click on the page in my header. In this post I wanted to cover info dumps and resisting the urge to explain.

In my characters world I can see everything that's happening. The reader can't and that bothers me. I guess the difference between good writers (positive thinking) and great writers is the ability to make the reader "see" your world but not realize they are doing it. I get so excited by my story I want the reader to get the full experience and love it as much as I do. That means I struggle with letting go. Give the reader control of their imagination. Describe the scene at bare minimum and let the reader fill in the blanks. With info dumps I'm learning you need to spread out what you're trying to tell. Let some of the info come directly from a character or an outsiders observation. Make it so the reader needs to keep going to find out what they want to know. Below is a second snippet of my critique and Marieke's advice in blue. Enjoy.

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Laughter floated down to my spot on the floor. "Of course you are. I have it on good authority that Denver is asking you to the dance." Denver St. James was the high school jock and the dream of every girls heart. Including mine. The thought of that muscled up Adonis asking me out was hilarious.
Here it's getting a bit too much
like info dump after all.

"Are you serious? Who told you that?" Snatching clothes from my closet I ran into the bathroom hoping to tame my wild hair. Maybe I should get a hair cut today. Seeing my reflection I had no idea why Denver would be interested in me. I was passably pretty but nothing to stare at. Freckles were scattered across my nose which was slightly crooked from a run in with tree. Coordinated I was not. Who was Emma kidding?
Same too. Something else, there are a lot
of very specific details in this. In one of my favorite writing books
- Self-editing for fiction writers - the writers talk about the 'urge
to explain'. If you don't tell your reader the main character is
opening the door and stepping over the threshold, they would never
know the MC has entered the room. Surprisingly enough - as readers, we
do. So resist the urge to explain :)

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How do you resist the urge to explain and do you find yourself fighting info dump?